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What Your Favorite Retro Recipe Says About You

Less enneagram, more yum-agram.
October November 2022

The expression “you are what you eat” probably refers to nutrition, but we think it’s more than that. See, we strongly believe that the retro recipe you gravitate toward can speak to your personality. Less enneagram, more yum-agram. Or less Myers-Briggs, more casserole dish. These are funny, right? We could keep going, or we can get to the fun part. Pick your favorite old-school recipe from below and we’ll give you a little window into your innerworkings.

Old-Fashioned Onion Meatloaf

Google said to take a certain route to your destination, but you know a better way. You also know the best place to find _____ (fill in the blank: the tastiest takeout sushi, a sale on new shoes, the best doctor in town). Your advice is highly sought-after in the group chat. In short, you have that insider knowledge, that secret tip that makes everything a little bit easier and/or better. (Like this meatloaf! It’s got zucchini, carrots, onion soup mix, and a certain je ne sais quoi!) Some would hoard this information, but if anyone asks for your secrets, you’ll go ahead and tell them, because that’s just the kind of person you are.   

Tuna Zoodle Skillet Casserole

Where some people see junk, you see potential. Where others see trouble, you see opportunity. A project might be done—but is it really? According to you, things can always be made just a little bit better. Take this tuna casserole. Where many would settle for the admittedly delicious classic dish, you are an optimist and a striver, and you see room for improvement. Zoodles and parmesan cheese crisps bring this very 20th-century dish into the 21st century, and while you’ll certainly add your own flair, it’s darn near perfect as-is.  

Speedy Sloppy Joes

You’re in the grocery store checkout line, and someone is telling you their life story. This happened last week, too. You are the emergency contact for at least four people. Nobody can put their finger on why, but something about you inspires confidence. Perhaps it’s your warm demeanor or the fact that you always show up when it matters, but people know you’ll never let them down—just like this easy dinner. 

Skinny Skillet Chicken Pot Pie

Somehow you manage to be present at Little League and at work, and at the town council meeting. You’re up to date on that show everyone is talking about, and you have an educated opinion on the news. You get it done, but how? There are rumors that you have a clone. You don’t, you’re just the best at multitasking and prioritizing, which makes you a kind of superhero. Dinner is no big deal because you can throw this pot pie together in minutes. Ten minutes, to be precise, which is impressive—even for you.

Clean-Out-the-Fridge Shepherd’s Pie

Problems? What problems? All you see are solutions. You probably have just what you need to fix whatever is happening—a missing piece of hardware, a broken sauce, that pothole on your way to work—in your bag right now. In your view, being thrifty and resourceful can lead you to a more satisfying existence. And what’s more satisfying than using up whatever you have on hand to make a delicious, crowd-pleasing meal? Definitely save some of this delicious Shepherd’s Pie for tomorrow’s lunch. But you were probably already planning on that. 

Swedish Meatballs and Noodles

People always underestimate you. They eventually realize their mistake, though, once they get to know you. It’s then that they realize that you are full of surprises, loaded with warmth, and a general joy to be around. The people who know you can’t get enough of you. Like you with these rich, savory meatballs.

Beef Wellington

“Oh, this old thing?” could be your refrain. You prize good execution, and you make it look effortless. No matter the occasion, you’ll be on time, dressed nicely, perhaps with a bottle of wine or a homemade baked good in hand. Your secret? Exerting effort where it matters, and taking shortcuts when it doesn’t. For instance, this Beef Wellington relies on a handful of ingredients—including time-savers like sliced mushrooms and packaged puff pastry—to make something extraordinary. And extraordinary is exactly your thing. 

Frozen TV Dinner

You’re tired. That’s ok, enjoy your meal and take a little nap. 

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